The world has been a busy place lately, and there have been so many stories worthy of boos and ballyhoos that I had to do a news update. So grab a cup of coffee, get comfy in your favorite chair, and prepare to be updated.
I’ll start with the BAD NEWS first:
Coca Cola has launched a new campaign against obesity. Their tactic? Pushing their diet and low sugar products. Which happen to be filled with empty calories and artificial sweeteners, two of the biggest culprits in the obesity epidemic. Oh yeah, and they’re a fun kind of neurotoxin called excitotoxins, which literally “excite” your brain cells until they explode. Fun, right? NOT. But I’ll tell you what is fun: the video that prompted Coke’s new anti-fat movement. It’s called “The Real Bears,” and it is my video of the month. Take 3.5 minutes of your time and watch it – trust me, it’s worth it! And while you’re in a watching movies mood, check out the half hour documentary The Cost of a Coke about how Coke replied to workers’ attempts to form unions to get better wages and working conditions. Hint: those workers are no longer around to tell their story, and I don’t mean around the factory. Then go out to eat and skip the soda.
Obamacare, that miracle, money-saving Affordable Care Act Obama graciously bestowed upon his subjects – I mean constituents – has finally been given a price tag. The IRS estimates the cheapest health care plan under Obamacare will cost the average family of 4 or 5 $20,000 a year. And if they choose to opt out, the “penalty” (which the Supreme Court did indeed rule is actually a tax – an unconstitutional one at that) would be just over $2,000. Affordable, my butt.
As if forcing a corrupt health care system on us isn’t bad enough, the government is also trying to destroy our sources of good food. Hmm… No sources of good, wholesome food leads to poor health, which leads to doctors visits, which lead to the need for insurance, which we are conveniently required by law to buy… Sounds to me like there’s a master plan behind all this. Why else would the government attack at gunpoint a private food buying club and confiscate all raw foods? That’s what happened to the California-based Rawesome Foods in 2005. Refrigerated goods like cheese and produce were confiscated in unrefrigerated crates and tested a week later for contamination. Surprisingly, raw cheese that hadn’t been chilled for a week contained bacteria and was deemed unsafe. And then, last month, the Feds turned the attack on Morningland Dairy, a Missouri dairy farm that produces raw cheese – cheese that was on the shelves at Rawesome Foods. Local authorities confiscated and destroyed Morningland’s entire inventory – 50,000 pounds of
perfectly good raw cheese – without ever testing it. Or tasting it, I’m sure, because no one who has had quality cheese could ever destroy that much of it.
Fracking has poisoned our tapwater. It’s made us sick, made our pets sick. It’s killed wildlife and livestock. It’s polluted our air, our soil, our aquifers. But now, it threatens our beer. It’s time to take a stand.
Now, time for some GOOD NEWS:
The European Union has announced a ban on all cosmetics and personal care products that have been tested on animals, beginning March 11, 2013. That’s right, Johnson & Johnson, you have a month to get your act together and stop torturing innocent beings so that pop singers can cover their acne. But wince the US government won’t protect the health of its own citizens, it’s pretty unlikely that it would ever take measures to protect its animal population. So check out PETA’s “Beauty without Bunnies” list of pro-cruelty and cruelty-free companies.
And in the most heartening story of the day, a Brazilian family has finally been reunited with Manuela, their pet tortoise that went missing in the 1980s. Their shelled companion escaped during renovation and apparently has been holed up in a storage room happily munching on termites and other household bugs for 30 years. Welcome back to civilization, Manuela.